The Happiness Project Challenge

The other day I found a book. More appropriately, it found me. As I was awaiting take-off for my flight from San Diego to Chicago Midway (which I was not supposed to be on, but that’s another story), I noticed a something peaking out of the pocket in front of me that did not look like Sky Mall or the in-flight menu. It was thicker and looked slightly worn. Of course, I reached and pulled it out. The title definitely intrigued me. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin was sitting on my lap waiting to be read, and I had a six-hour flight ahead of me to do so.

It was written as  memoir, which definitely made for some easy-reading. Rubin spent a whole year trying to apply every old adage about happiness. Every month is a theme, she tries to incorporate at least three things every month and document the results. Very interesting.

My review? It depends on your definition of happiness. Happiness, in my book, comes in a little bit more of a spiritual level. Rubin’s Confucian/ Buddhist/ Hindu musings for her “spiritual month”aren’t quite what I’m talking about either. I believe God created man with a void. This void can only be filled with God. People who have not found God are walking around with voids in their lives. People with voids are always searching for ways to fill that void. People are with voids tend to be unhappy people.

On the other hand, I do not disagree with anything she incorporated (well, minus her attempts at spirituality.) She spent a year making herself a better person. She improved her living conditions, her relationships with her husband and children, her physical body and much more. My last post was just about pushing myself to be a better person. After reading this book I did feel inspired. This woman spent a whole year making small positive changes. Kudos to her!
Now I was saying that this book found me. I don’t think it was an accident either, I feel that I should start incorporated some of these things to my life and documenting it. All posts regarding the Happiness Project will be tagged as such. January is clutter and working out! Can’t wait:)

 

A Word on New Year’s Resolutions

My New Year’s Resolution History

In my house, New Year’s is a big deal.  By mid-December our pantries are stocked with a couple bottles of Martinelli’s, party whistles and of course silly string.  Every year, about a week before the new year we have a family meeting. My dad hands out our written New Year’s resolutions from the year before, and we see who followed through on the most of their resolutions. I always win:) I’ve mastered the art of finding achievable goals.

Now before you scoff and  accuse me “sand-bagging”, let me explain the resolution process. Each year, every member of the family is given a paper with four categories. They have to write four resolutions for every category. That’s sixteen resolutions every year! I have to think of four things I want to improve: physically, academically, spiritually and mentally (personally I’ve always felt that mentally and academically should be one category.) If that isn’t hard enough, my dad has to approve the resolutions. They have to pass the SMART test.

Is this goal specific?

Is this goal measurable?

Is this goal attainable?

Is this goal result-oriented?

Is this goal timely?

So after all my goals pass all this scrutiny, they are locked away in a filing cabinet and I do not see them again ’til next December. Granted, if you were to peruse my goals over the last couple of years they do seem to compass the same basic themes:  weight loss, a better walk with God, better grades etc. I do believe that I have improved on these areas every year. I know there are those out there who are adamantly against resolutions, but I am one of those people that does follow through on their resolutions. If you quit growing, you quit living.  I never want to grow complacent with my growth.  So, all this to say, I’m thankful for my upbringing. For parents who always pushed me to improve and become a better person. I wanted to thank them for rewarding me on following through on goals, for showing me that pushing yourself pays off and most of all to show me they were there to rejoice in every victory with me.

 

A Reflection on a Year Gone By

2011 was definitely an eventful year to say the least.  It was trying year, but I learned a lot about myself.

January. In most people’s minds it is a month associated with new beginnings and fresh starts. My January is a time for endings. In the span of one week I lose a relationship, a roommate and a couple friends. I have the stomach flu during most of this too. So, needless to say I did not have a wonderful introduction to 2011.

February: Valentine’s Banquet, the glorified prom of college, is totally overrated and something I never want to go to. I was convinced I had gotten out of it since I was newly single. Wrong. I got asked by one of my good friends from high school. A dress magically appeared in my room that was my size (no joke!) and next thing I know I’m sitting in the dining hall watching some type of Monty Python meets the Lion King meets Shrek musical.

March: So, my banquet date has a really good time. It’s not mutual. There goes another friend.

April: Finally Spring. I love looking out my window and not seeing snow and an overcast sky! April meant that it was almost time to go home. I went to a Dodgers/Cubs game at Wrigley field, and the Dodgers won! Even better than that, I got to meet Mike McDougal and Jamie Carroll and they signed my shirt. It was a good day:)

May: My favorite month, mostly because of my birthday, but also because it’s the month that school gets out and I get to go home. I turned 20 this last year and I have an awesome birthday. I don’t have to work and spend all day in the mall and Buffalo Wild Wings. A week later, I’m in California again.

June: Summer is here. I’m officially a junior, which means I have an official school bill to pay now too. Ugh. Luckily, I have a fun job. I work for a photographer; I go to high school proms, pose people and get paid for it. It was a pretty sweet set-up. Even working at the studio doing prints wasn’t so bad.

July: Work starts slowing down. My days consist of staying home and watching either the Office or Mad Men, relaxing by the pool and doing absolutely nothing.

August: Due to Mad Men, my last relationship,and hearing about other people’s relationships I fall into my “man-hater” phase. I decide that all men are shallow jerks and that I’m better off alone. I make plans to live on my own after I graduate and buy a big fluffy white cat named Mr. Darcy, because every spinster starts off with at least one cat right?

September: Back to school. I have a great room, on a great floor and good classes. I come into this year with a pretty good attitude (and maybe a little bit of the man-hater mentality still.) God has a funny way of bringing things into your life when you least expect it. Labor day, I walk into the Square to buy a drink. I come across a table full of people from my church. They invite me to join their table. I sit with them. I sit next to a good-looking guy I’ve never really talked to before, but always been intrigued with. Three hours later we’re still talking! I learn that we have a lot in common. We have a couple dates here and there. It’s looking good

October: He asks me to Harvest Days, and tells me he likes me. If you’ve read my posts before then you know that’s a huge sea. We’re now in a “stage” and as lame and cheesy as it is I enjoy it. He calls my dad. We’re official. I’m happy:)

November: Thanksgiving. I’m in the dorms. Flying to California is way to expensive. He goes home to Michigan. I miss him. I spend Thanksgiving at my friends house ten minutes away from campus. We have a good time.

December: Winter again. My great-grandmother dies in Montana at age 94. I’m unable to attend the funeral in South Dakota. School gets out. I have to stay and work for a week, he stays back a week with me. We have Scrabble dates every morning:) I lose most of the time, but it doesn’t really bother me that much. I head home and finish the year off on a good note.

Oh, The Awkward Stage…

In life. Junior high, it’s everyone’s awkward stage. The term “awkward age” is actually in the dictionary(I laughed) and it is defined as “the period of adolescence marked by self-consciousness and moody behavior.”  Honestly, I don’t think that does it justice. Emotionally speaking, yes, junior high seems to mark the climax of self-consciousness and status awareness. Physical awkwardness has it beat hands down!  Emotional gawkiness is definitely enhanced by the all the physical changes that seem to all happen within those two to three years.  All those annoying changes: I got my first pair of glasses in the seventh grade, my friends were all getting braces around this time and zits. Oh the memories! It’s just so funny, how universal it is. When people come over, no one wants to pull out the junior high yearbook (ew!), it’s funny to look at elementary school pictures and even high school but middle school?…eh.

In hair. So…I’ve had long hair my whole life. This summer I got the bright idea to chop it all off. I needed a drastic change and that seemed like the easiest one I guess. I went to salon with hair down to almost my elbow and came out with hair two inches under my jaw line. It was drastic and crazy, but I loved it. Then I came to college and with the hectic schedule and rushed way of life, I forgot something. Hair grows. Before I knew it, my hair was already touching my shoulder! It looked weird, it wouldn’t do what I wanted. When I straightened it, it would start flipping out (literally) and just not stay.  When I curled it, it just hung at an awkward length. It’s the hairstyle that says “I’m trying to grow my hair out, so I’m stuck in this in-between stage.” It’s not short anymore and it’s nowhere near long. It just hangs, it exists. It’s in the limbo of hair lengths. Luckily this stage is within my control and does not have to last three years. I did take care of it, now it’s even shorter than the first time. You know what that means? I won’t be hitting this awkward stage in a while.

In relationships. This one is my favorite, probably because there are just so many awkward phases in relationships that it was hard to isolate a couple to write about. The best ones are usually in the beginning. Example one: he asked you out on a date on Friday, it’s Wednesday, you are both at opposite ends of the hall walking toward each other. There  is those awkward thirty seconds where you see each other but you’re too far away to make eye contact but you don’t want to hold eye contact that long anyway (that’s just creepy!) and then the other part of you doesn’t  know what to do when you have to pass him. You have to do something. It’s inevitable. You are going to pass him. Do you acknowledge him? Are you gonna pretend someone text you and ignore him? Do you say hi to him?  Do you say hi to him by name? The stages do tend to make things more awkward.  What if you’re in that awkward stage where you’re not in a stage yet, but you’ve gone on a couple dates? Is that “talking”? When does “talking” become “dating”? What is the written rule for that? Getting to the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, usually takes 1-2 years here, what are they before they ask you? What are we supposed to refer to them as? “Oh you know Joe, the guy that I’m dating/ my dating partner/ that guy I hang out with a lot but am not allowed to call my boyfriend?” So confusing. The “I like you” stage? Really?  What makes me laugh is that couple will be together for months and one night some girl will come running down our dorm floor ecstatic because her “dating partner/ special friend” told her he liked her? Really? Did he just realize this after seven months of courtesy dates or was this some secret repressed emotion that he decided to make public? It’s stupid. If he didn’t like you, why did he keep asking you on dates? I’m not a fan of couples that say “I like you” either. It is ever so cheesy…Gag me with a spoon. I’m sure I missed something, but these are just my thoughts on the subject:)

Things I’ve Learned in College…

From Living in the Midwest

1. Summer is not the only season.  This was a tough one for me to handle, California did not prepare me for my first winter in Indiana. Snow was something foreign to me, I had seen it movies driven by it on road trips, but never actually had to live in it.  Learning how to layer my clothes, buying a pair of legit snow boots, and stocking up on scarves, gloves and earmuffs are just a few of the things that made my life a little easier. I’m still not a fan of snow. Winter is a very inconvenient season, and I have lived a sheltered life of perfect weather and convenience.  It has definitely made me appreciate spring so much more. Needless to say, I am not dreaming of a White Christmas.

2. The Local Lingo. Growing up I do recall hearing my grandmother say the word “pop” once.  No one had any idea what she was talking about. I though she was referring to a lollipop, my sister was thinking it was a popsicle and my brother was beyond confused. She just shrugged her shoulders and took a 2 liter of Coca Cola out of the refrigerator. I move here and people start that throwing that word around again. I really thought that it was a word that grandparents used like groovy or peaches. I understand that the word “soda” is two syllables but is it really that much effort? How about grade school? I had never heard it called that. Before junior high I went to an elementary school, but then again it has more syllables right?  Lastly, they don’t have freeways here, they have highways. I could go on, but you get the idea.

3. This That and the Other. Cars rust in the winter. If there is sand and a body of water of some kind it is referred to as “a beach”. Do not assume it is warm just because the sun is shining and you can feel warmth through the windows.  Air conditioning and heating are necessities of life. Sometimes the best food is served in the shadiest places. Humidity actually exists and boy can you feel it.

From Living in the Dorms

1. Common courtesy. Even at Bible College, freshman year is wild. Each floor is filled about fifty girls who just graduated high school and have never lived on their own. There is never a quiet moment on a freshman floor. Now that we are juniors, we don’t have the energy we had freshman year, nor the time. We have come to realization that although college may seem like a year long slumber party, there are classes everyday from 8 to 1 and those weird people who plan on graduating need to study for those classes. Freshman dorm floors are not a good place to study. Freshman year is also when you make all your friends. Sometimes your friends will all be your roommates, this is not always the case. You get close with the people you room with freshman year because you go through so many changes together it brings you closer. You may even feel like family, even if this is the case always ask before you do anything that could inconvenience them. Even if they say you can borrow that skirt whenever, still ask before you take it.

2. Gossip will spread like wildfire. The dorms have the best drama, not a good thing. Living in tight enclosed spaces with people will always bring that, hence the popularity of shows like Big Brother, the Real World and Jersey Shore. Something that you said last night will be the talk to the school the next day by 8 a.m.  Word to the wise: don’t trust anyone and don’t say anything about people unless you would say it if they were standing right there. Solves a lot of problems.

3. The Freshman Fifteen is Not a Myth. Two years ago I came to college with a lot of hopes and dreams, I went for the summer with a whole new outlook on life and twenty extra pounds on my frame. It was bad:/ The dining hall food is not good, but I was very picky, if I didn’t like what was being served I’d head over to the restaurant and indulge in something that tasted better (and was usually fried.) It goes without saying, but this took a toll on my bank account as well as my figure. That summer was horrible, I hated looking back on the pictures from the previous year. I dreaded going home and knowing that everyone was shocked by how I looked. That summer I lost all the weight that I had gained and then some. Sophomore year comes with so much more wisdom. I’ve changed my ways and I don’t regret having my freshman year as a learning experience.

4. Wal Mart is Your Friend. I’ve always been a Wal-Mart shopper, even before college, but college has deepened my affinity for the store. My freshman year was a bit too heavy of a love affair and it drained my checking account. Freshman year is for mistakes though and I definitely learned from it. Ramen noodles are a staple food but you cannot live off them. Nylons are always something you can never have too much of. Sometimes quantity is greater than quality, especially in things that are not meant to last long. Wal-Mart may not be the most glamorous store it is the most convenient and easiest on the wallet. That is the voice of experience.

Cleaning Out the Closet

I have surrendered.  The suitcases are getting filled…very slowly. As much as I wanted to put it off, I have more peace in being prepared for the next phase of life than in trying to hold on to this one.  In a sense you could say I’m past the denial stage and on to the acceptance stage. Why does moving on become so much more grievous with age? You would think that after experiencing so many changes we would welcome them.  It’s therapeutic in a way.  Making a decision about what I’m taking and what is staying puts things in perspective.  The sundresses that gave me so much comfort during these hot summer days are getting pushed to the side as I’m reaching for the long-sleeve Oxfords that are going to be getting plenty of wear this fall.  It forces me to prioritize,  summer is for comfort, cool and easy; flip-flops and dresses.  School is for warmth and fashion; tights, pencil skirts and heels.

The suitcases are getting fuller every time I look at them (is “fuller” a word?).  Filled with clothes I forgot I had at that. How clothes get forgotten is beyond me, especially when I consider the size of my closet.  It’s even worse when I consider the size of the closet I have to move into.  How do they expect us to fit 9-months worth of heavy winter coats and clothes into a ridiculously small wardrobe and two drawers? Must be some part of the college experience.  A lesson in gratitude and making due with what you have.  It’s like that first day of freshman year when I came in with four suitcases worth of things I “couldn’t possibly live without” into a small room I was going to be sharing with three other people.  Sophomore year I came with a little more wisdom and a better set of priorities.  Now I’m a junior and I’m going for the minimalist way, what are my basic needs? It’s what I keep asking myself as I throw things into the college pile.

Little by little it’s getting done. Just like this college degree, one step at a time. Just like life.

Nerd is the New Chic

I have an inner-nerd.  That said, it does not necessarily mean I’m smart, it means I’m one of those sick people who enjoy academic torture.  I guess I am not surprised, it was the way my parents raised me.  I wasn’t given toys as a child; I was given books and puzzles.  I spent some of my summers at camps for “gifted children.”  I watched Jeopardy every night.  I was literally raised to be a nerd.

I’m not ashamed.  I still love to read and watch Jeopardy every chance I get.  I mean I don’t wear coke-bottle glasses and study quantum physics in my free time. I never enjoyed science fiction or Lord of the Rings.  I hated math and science in school.   I guess I’m just not that kind of nerd.  I do love book stores though. I relish in long days, sipping iced-coffee and indulging in literature.  It’s a rewarding experience.  I really don’t understand people who don’t enjoy that.  Who knows? Someday maybe I’ll have a big library in my house with a comfy chair, a cat and a rainy/overcast landscape outside my window.  That is so cliche! I guess it takes a sort of solitude to enjoy that, and not everyone enjoys being alone.

I’m willing to bet that everyone has an inner-nerd. Some thing enjoyable that could be seen by others as geeky or weird. I think it’s time to stop hiding it. Face it, if  nerdy wasn’t cool people wouldn’t buy fashion glasses (I still don’t understand that because I actually wear real glasses HA). We all want to be different, it’s human nature to fight against conforming, we all want to be seen as individuals.  Let’s all just flaunt our weirdness!