Things Christian College Girls Say: Dating

  • “Well, they’re not in the ‘I like you’ stage yet.”
  • “They’re just talking.”
  • “Oh my word! I’m a girlfriend!!!”
  • “They sat together last night in church, and they ate lunch together this afternoon. They are so dating.”
  • “I heard she gave him a store-bought card. It must have¬†been a really bad date.”
  • “I saw that couple in the post office hallway. They were so close they were practically kissing. it was so gross!”
  • “Do I have to make him a card for a chapel date?”
  • “You should make him cookies.”
  • “I’m never gonna get married.”
  • “She’s only staying for her Masters cause she’s single.”
  • “It’s so hard to find stuff for him that doesn’t say ‘love’.”
  • “Goodnight. I like you.¬†” “I like you too.”

How Do I Love Thee?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. I feel like I need to find new ways to tell him how much I love him. I think I thought of way to express that.

So, Jesse, how much do I love you?

I love you…

1. More than a fat kid loves cake.

2. More than Bro. Eddie loves the word “literally”.

3. More than Kim Kardashian loves herself.

4. More than the DOW loves unnecessary DC meetings.

5. More than people on diets love talking about dieting.

6. More than Mexicans love hot sauce.

7. More than Sheldon Cooper loves proving that he’s right.

8. More than Kel loves orange soda.

9. More than Bro. Tefft loves Diet Coke.

10. More than Californians love saying “the” before freeways when giving directions.

11. More than Justin Bieber loves posting selfies.

12. More than Dwight loves beet farming.

13. More than Mini-Me loves chocolate.

14. More than Midwest girls love being fake tan.

15. More than hipsters love coffee shops.