How Do I Love Thee?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. I feel like I need to find new ways to tell him how much I love him. I think I thought of way to express that.

So, Jesse, how much do I love you?

I love you…

1. More than a fat kid loves cake.

2. More than Bro. Eddie loves the word “literally”.

3. More than Kim Kardashian loves herself.

4. More than the DOW loves unnecessary DC meetings.

5. More than people on diets love talking about dieting.

6. More than Mexicans love hot sauce.

7. More than Sheldon Cooper loves proving that he’s right.

8. More than Kel loves orange soda.

9. More than Bro. Tefft loves Diet Coke.

10. More than Californians love saying “the” before freeways when giving directions.

11. More than Justin Bieber loves posting selfies.

12. More than Dwight loves beet farming.

13. More than Mini-Me loves chocolate.

14. More than Midwest girls love being fake tan.

15. More than hipsters love coffee shops.