Four Annoying Girls & How to Deal With Them

  1. The “Giggly” Girls: I think Audrey Hepburn said it best in Sabrina when she is hiding in a tree watching her crush flirt with one of these ditzy types. “I hate girls who giggle all the time” Me too, Audrey. Me too.
    1. How to Spot One:
      1. They are overly optimistic, and are most likely smiling.
      2. They or their friends probably work for the Dean of Women’s office.
      3. Usually morning people. Freshman usually sing in the morning, most likely a Disney song.
    2. How to Deal:
      1. DON’T: Use sarcasm. Most of the time it will just go over their heads. Stay away from comments that you’re going to have to spend more time explaining than delivering.
      2. DO: Use basic words and open your eyes unnaturally wide, while adding an occasional smile or head nod. Mirroring body language makes for more effective communication.English: Studio publicity portrait for film Sa...
  2. Me-Monsters/ One-Uppers: Comedian, Brian Regan aptly labeled this type the “me-monsters”, and I couldn’t think of a more appropriate moniker for this self-absorbed sort. Everybody has a Me-Monster in their life. You can spot them as soon as you start a conversation. Their injury is just a little more severe than the one you experienced, their student-teaching is a little harder than what you have to teach, their day has been just a little more eventful than your day.
    1. How to Spot One:
      1. For every story you share, they have a more severe, more extreme experience that will always top your story.
      2. They only use first-person pronouns.
    2. How to Deal:
      1. DO: Make the whole conversation about them to begin with. Don’t try to share any personal information unless you want it belittled and pushed to the side by some bigger and better experience.
      2. DON’T: Try to “One-Up” their story. They will think of some relative or close friend that has a crazier experience. This will go on until you let them win.
      3. DO: Just walk away. Watch Kristen Wiig’s “Penelope” skits on SNL. You’ll laugh at this exaggerated portrayal of Me-Monsters and be reminded that nobody likes them.
  3. The “Selfie”-Obsessed: Pretty people who feel the need to remind you how good-looking they are by posting at least one picture of themselves a week.
      1. How to Spot One:
        1. On Facebook:
          1. They change their profile picture at least once a week.
          2. They might down play some compliment in the comments section.
            1. “You look gorgeous!”
            2. Reply: “Oh my goodness! I look so gross in this pic!”
        2. On Instagram:
          1. They always take a self-portrait to document menial events in their lives.
            1. “I really need coffee (duck face)”
            2. Inspirational quote + self-portrait
          2. Most of their feed is face shots.
          3. Most of their pictures receive a considerable amount of likes.
      2. How to Deal:
        1. DON’T: Like these pictures. As you can imagine, this only encourages more “Selfie” behavior and posts in the future.
        2. DO: remove these people from your feed if they annoy you. You can keep them on your feed for a good laugh.
  4. The Strained Personality: People who try to be funny/smart/cocky but just aren’t.
    1. How to Spot One:
      1. Most likely this person will try to use unnecessary hashtags on Facebook in an attempt to be witty.
      2. They misuse hashtags by applying spaces between words or apostrophes.
        1. #I’mSuchANerd
        2. #Smart Girl Problems
      3. They misuse Meme Humor in an attempt to be culturally relevant.
        1. The Most Interesting Man in the World
        2. Conspiracy Keanu
        3. Bad Luck Brian
      1. How to Deal:
        1. DON’T: encourage this behavior by liking these posts.
        2. DON’T: Remind them that hashtags are irrelevant on Facebook. You won’t be the first or the last to point this out.
        3. DO: Sometimes the “Do not show in News Feed” is the answer to everything.

Growing Up

English: Mother and child at the show, 1938. B...

College. It’s a very difficult transition between childhood and adulthood. After high school I packed my bags, bought a winter coat, and moved two-thousand miles away to school in the Midwest. I considered this growing up, living on my own. My mother did not.

Letting go doesn’t come easy to any mother. Mine grew up Mexico with uncommon philosophies: family first, blood is thicker than water, and care for your own. She found many American practices cold and heartless. She never understood how a parent could push their child out of the house at eighteen, or how that child could turn around  and place his parents that raised him into an institution to be cared for by complete strangers:  An act she considers void of love.

As you can imagine, I can’t just tell my mom that I am an adult. She disregards the fact that I’ve moved out. I still come home for summer and Christmas holidays after all. When she looks at me she still sees her little girl. She says no age can change the fact that I’m her daughter, and she’s my mother.

The First Date Job Interview

“A date is a job interview that lasts all night.” -Jerry Seinfeld

Last week my boyfriend and I attended that “Harvest Fest” activity I was talking about. Unfortunately, due to the rainy weather we went to Navy Pier instead. It was a little “mall” full of tourist shops and kiosks, a couple of restaurants, a garden and a children’s museum. I definitely enjoyed myself; I usually do when I’m with my boyfriend.

My boyfriend and I were wondering about those awkward freshman couple who were on their first date. They’re stuck walking around the same ten stores peddling Chicago apparel and mementos for four hours.

First dates are tough anyway; they’re pretty much like a job interview like Jerry said. There is a lot of similarities. First of all, there is the flattery that out of the sea of applicants/ candidates, you were chosen.  Second, both involve some type of interrogation, or series of vague question which you are supposed to expound upon to give them some insight about you. Of course in both situations you are trying to impress them, but at the same you are sizing them up to see if they’re a good fit for a long-term relationship. Now, that’s a lot to handle on a four-hour first date.

Luckily, there are a couple of differences. To start with, motives. One has romantic intentions, the other, monetary. Also, even though both of these events start with a frantic and nervous anticipation in front of your closet, you’re communicating two different messages.  While playing up your best features is priority, one has a more professional slant. The method of interrogation varies as well, while one rattles of questions, one right after the other; compared to loaded questions hidden in casual conversation.

I’m so glad I’m done with that. Jesse and I are past the awkward nervous conversation point. We’re comfortable with each other. I enjoy his conversation, hearing him talk, but just being next to him makes me completely happy (okay, you can gag now.)

Confessions of a Literary Hipster

“I read that book way before it was a movie.” It’s a phrase I find myself saying more and more often; what with the imminent release of Anna Karenina and The Great Gatsby and such of the like. There is a certain frustration that some people will never understand.

1. The “Elitist” mentality

As a sophomore in high school I picked up Anna Karenina, the classic 600-paged tragic Russian novel. Needless to say by the end of it I felt extremely accomplished. As if I earned the right to know the plot of the story.  It’s not a feat accomplished by many.  This “elitist mentality” as my boyfriend calls it, reared it’s head when I was watching Nicholas Sparks’ The Last Song. I was quite unhappy to

Cover of "Anna Karenina (Oxford World's C...

Cover of Anna Karenina (Oxford World’s Classics)

discover that Miley Cyrus was cast as the main character. Cyrus did not fit Ronnie’s physique and personality in the slightest. Personally, I thought this was displayed best when Cyrus casually picks up Tolstoy’s classic and begins to read it on the beach. “In what world would that happen?” I thought to myself, “this girl tweets about her excrement for crying out loud!” Thus, the “elitist” mentality came out – I didn’t think Cyrus was good/smart/worthy enough to read the book like I did.

2. The Ruined Mental Imagery

This is probably the thing that bothers me the least, but as I read I know I have my set mental imagery. I, as well as pretty much all readers, have opinions about how everything and everyone should look and act. A movie is someone else’s interpretation. I don’t always agree with their interpretation.

Whenever I read a story and one of the female characters is described as a plain or just ugly woman, I always wonder about the actresses that get cast in these roles. Did they read the character description in the novel? Random thought, sorry.

3. The Sin of Hollywood Omission

Probably one of the scariest things about having a beloved book be brought to the silver screen is what could be left out of it. “What did they see as ‘unnecessary’?” In most cases, the scenes that are left out for the film’s sake are very small in the grand scheme of the entire plot. The only time I can remember being truly angry about that was when Jodi Picoult’s My Sister’s Keeper came out as a movie. They changed the ending completely; I mean to the point where they killed off a completely different character at the end. That is just wrong.

With that said, I still don’t know if anyone really understands where I’m coming from. Looking over this I sound like a total snob, and trust me, that’s really not the case. There’s just something about reading a book, and then seeing it become a movie that some people will never understand.

A Reflection on a Year Gone By

2011 was definitely an eventful year to say the least.  It was trying year, but I learned a lot about myself.

ImageJanuary. In most people’s minds it is a month associated with new beginnings and fresh starts. My January is a time for endings. In the span of one week I lose a relationship, a roommate and a couple friends. I have the stomach flu during most of this too. So, needless to say I did not have a wonderful introduction to 2011.

February: Valentine’s Banquet, the glorified prom of college, is totally overrated and something I never want to go to. I was convinced I had gotten out of it since I was newly single. Wrong. I got asked by one of my good friends from high school. A dress magically appeared in my room that was my size (no joke!) and next thing I know I’m sitting in the dining hall watching some type of Monty Python meets the Lion King meets Shrek musical.

March: So, my banquet date has a really good time. It’s not mutual. There goes another friend.

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April: Finally Spring. I love looking out my window and not seeing snow and an overcast sky! April meant that it was almost time to go home. I went to a Dodgers/Cubs game at Wrigley field, and the Dodgers won! Even better than that, I got to meet Mike McDougal and Jamie Carroll and they signed my shirt. It was a good day:)

May: My favorite month, mostly because of my birthday, but also because it’s the month that school gets out and I get to go home. I turned 20 this last year and I have an awesome birthday. I don’t have to work and spend all day in the mall and Buffalo Wild Wings. A week later, I’m in California again.

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June: Summer is here. I’m officially a junior, which means I have an official school bill to pay now too. Ugh. Luckily, I have a fun job. I work for a photographer; I go to high school proms, pose people and get paid for it. It was a pretty sweet set-up. Even working at the studio doing prints wasn’t so bad.

July: Work starts slowing down. My days consist of staying home and watching either the Office or Mad Men, relaxing by the pool and doing absolutely nothing.

August: Due to Mad Men, my last relationship,and hearing about other people’s relationships I fall into my “man-hater” phase. I decide that all men are shallow jerks and that I’m better off alone. I make plans to live on my own after I graduate and buy a big fluffy white cat named Mr. Darcy, because every spinster starts off with at least one cat right?

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September: Back to school. I have a great room, on a great floor and good classes. I come into this year with a pretty good attitude (and maybe a little bit of the man-hater mentality still.) God has a funny way of bringing things into your life when you least expect it. Labor day, I walk into the Square to buy a drink. I come across a table full of people from my church. They invite me to join their table. I sit with them. I sit next to a good-looking guy I’ve never really talked to before, but always been intrigued with. Three hours later we’re still talking! I learn that we have a lot in common. We have a couple dates here and there. It’s looking good

October: He asks me to Harvest Days, and tells me he likes me. If you’ve read my posts before then you know that’s a huge sea. We’re now in a “stage” and as lame and cheesy as it is I enjoy it. He calls my dad. We’re official. I’m happy:)

November: Thanksgiving. I’m in the dorms. Flying to California is way to expensive. He goes home to Michigan. I miss him. I spend Thanksgiving at my friends house ten minutes away from campus. We have a good time.

December: Winter again. My great-grandmother dies in Montana at age 94. I’m unable to attend the funeral in South Dakota. School gets out. I have to stay and work for a week, he stays back a week with me. We have Scrabble dates every morning:) I lose most of the time, but it doesn’t really bother me that much. I head home and finish the year off on a good note.

The Listology of Autumn

I don’t have favorites.  I think in lists:  “My Top 10  All-Time Favorite Movies”,  “5 Things I Would Bring to a Deserted Island”,  “10 Places I Want to See Before I Die” etc.  Point is,  I list things.  If you read my last post you are aware that I am not quite ready for Summer to end just yet.  So….I decided to psyche myself up by thinking of ten things that I love about fall.

  1. A New Start.  I love starting over:  school, life, job, relationships (you get the idea.) Every new school year we are guaranteed that.  A new beginning. Last year, last semester, the summer, it’s all in the past.  All that matters is the present and the future and what you bring to it.
  2. The Weather.  I know, I know, I always talk about being a California girl and soaking in the perpetual sunshine under a palm tree, BUT there is a world out there with more than one season!  One thing I have learned to enjoy is the feel of Autumn air. It’s cold, crisp and refreshing.  I go on walks around the lake just to breathe it in.
  3. Sweaters! Yes. Random I know, but I have a lot of them.  I don’t ever get to wear them.  It’s never quite cool enough to be a sweater day.  Especially when I’m only home for the summer.  So there they lay, in my closet, waiting to be worn.  I love how versatile they are.  They can be dressed up or dressed down so easily. I am all about easy outfits 🙂
  4. The People. I realize that people came after sweaters.  Well, sometimes sweaters are easier to deal with than people?  I do love people and especially that first week back.  I love everyone.  I get so happy to see familiar faces that I find myself throwing my arms around girls that I claimed “got on my nerves”.  I just want to see everyone, hear what everyone has been up to.  Catch up.
  5. Thunderstorms! If there’s one thing Indiana can do well is bring on a great thunderstorm.  I love it. Whether I’m inside or outside doesn’t matter. The sound of thunder excites me!  It’s my God loves me sign. When I see that bright flash across the sky I don’t really know what else I’m supposed to think of.  My God did this, what can yours do?
  6. Scarves, Layering, accessories. I like the way scarves look. They are easy to throw on when I can’t find a necklace to match.  Problem is I feel ridiculous sporting one in this heat. The practical use of a scarf aside from garnishing an outfit is to keep the neck warm. Here I can assure you I have no problem with that.  I don’t really need to be kept warm at all.  The sun takes care of that very well thank you.
  7. Dressing up again. All summer I’ve thrown my hair back (before I got it cut anyway) and threw on some flip-flops and I was ready to go.  No make-up, no jewelry, nothing.  The natural plain-Jane look flies here. I don’t mind it…it’s just that after a while I feel so bleh.  I miss getting ready because it made me feel like I had somewhere to go. Doing my hair, picking outfits and accessories, I enjoy it, I miss it.
  8. Dark Nails.  Summer is definitely not the time to bring out the EMO polish. For some reason in autumn I can paint my nails black and no one thinks anything of it. No one rushes over to pull my sleeves up in search of cuts or digs through my drawers for dark poetry. Everyone is in darker colors. It’s acceptable 🙂
  9. The Trench Coat!!:) I had wanted one for such a looong time. Khaki, double-breasted, belted and knee-length, and guess what my mother bought me just the other day? I was so excited! It’s so versatile, so timeless. I’m in love. I open my closet door just to look at it sometimes. To make sure it’s still there. I’m kidding of course. Or am I?
  10. The Leaves.  I never knew leaves could take on so many different colors.  It’s the visual symphony of nature. Our last glimpse of beauty before it takes on a snowy blanket for who knows how long. I remember on Sunday mornings looking down the streets in Chicago and seeing how the trees on both sides seemed to naturally frame these tunnels. The leaves falling over cars and the side walk. I don’t know how to explain it, but I loved it. I looked out the window every week of Autumn in search of that glimpse of picturesque suburbia.